Do you have trouble flirting with girls out at the bars and clubs? A lot of guys do. But even more common is guys who have trouble flirting when they’re online. Especially, meet singles on free interracial dating sites is on the rise, learning how to flirt online with the best of them is a skill every man needs in the digital age. Nowadays there are the best ways to flirt online:
Start the conversation with something interesting.
If you want someone to talk to you, you need to have something to talk about. Whether you know the person in “real” life or just from a dating profile page, it’s impossible to find a connection if all you’ve got to say is “hey” or “ur cute.”
Don’t start conversations with, “hey” or “what up.” It doesn’t give you anywhere to go. Start with an interesting question or an observation, or a comment. Even if it’s small, start with, “Whoa, whoa-whoa. There’s no way I can’t ask you about your new profile picture. Is that a waterfall? Please dish.”
Get the other person talk
People like talking when it’s easy. If you want to have a fun, flirty conversation, make it easy for the other person to have it by asking those questions and being a good “listener” to their responses.
Ask lots of follow-up questions. If the waterfall profile picture was in Cancun last summer, ask about the trip. How was it? What was the ridiculous thing you saw there? The worst thing you ate?
Don’t pry. Asking questions like, “That sounds so fun! I’d be scared to try sky-diving. How was it?” is one thing. But the answer to “How can you afford to sky-dive when you work in the service industry?” isn’t any of your business.
Don’t start with a line. Innuendo or crude jokes aren’t the way to get someone interested. Read the next section for more specific advice for picking conversation topics.
It’s hard to define flirting exactly. Lots of people just want to look for a connection, some kind of electricity. Often, this has to do with your sense of humor and your playfulness. Let your sense of humor come through. If you think it’s funny to reference obscure Wu-Tang Clan songs, or random facts while you’re talking, then do it. Be yourself. If someone doesn’t think that’s funny, they’re better off with someone else.
Sometimes, gentle teasing can be flirty and electric, or it can make you come off like a jerk. It might be funny to one person to say, “Whoa nice waterfall picture. That looks cold. Plus those plants are wacky. Nice try though.” To others, not so much.
Respond in a timely way
Flirting needs someone to be at the other end of the line or it won’t spark. Respond to as many messages as you can when you see them, and show the other person that you enjoy the exchange between the two of you.
“Leaving them waiting” is the rallying cry of people with no dates. If you want to chat online, be there to chat. If you want to ignore people’s messages, go do something else.
If someone else isn’t talking to you, leave them alone. There’s no sense in peppering them with a million interesting and well-formed questions that they’re going to respond “lol” too.
Invest some effort into flirting, but don’t expect a lot of return initially until you “click” with the right person. If you can’t start a conversation with someone, you can’t start a conversation. Flirt around. Have fun. Have lots of conversations, and keep them light.
On the other hand, don’t give up too easily. Online chats can take some time to get to know someone. As mentioned earlier, keep it lighthearted and stay approachable.
Stop trying to make yourself look good, and just be you
If you want to flirt and find a genuine connection with someone, it’s important to be yourself, not the self-promoting Facebook version of yourself. It’s all too easy to come off as conceited online, the more you talk about yourself and your accomplishments. So don’t. Just be you.
Write the same way you talk. You don’t need to make yourself “sound smart” or try to use words you wouldn’t normally use to flirt. It’ll come off as fake and awkward.
On the other hand, self-deprecating humor can sometimes be funny, but it can also sometimes come off as desperate or annoying. It’s good to talk about yourself in positive ways.
Make a Joke about Her Profile
One way that you can start out learning how to flirt online is making a playful joke about something in her profile. Why? Two reasons: First, you always want to start out your flirting by being light and playful. This is a good way for the two of you to start getting to know each other in a relaxed fashion.
Another reason you want to start out with a playful reference to something in her profile is to show her that you’ve read it and that you paid attention to it. What’s more, making a playful reference to something on her profile can let her know that the two of you have common interests — you have to know about something to make a funny reference to it.
Move Things to Social Media
Thought you met on a dating site, it’s a good idea to move things over to a social networking site like Facebook as soon as you can. Why?
Because who a woman is on a dating site isn’t necessarily who she is in real life. You’re going to get a much more accurate picture of who she is on Facebook or Twitter than you are on a dating website. You can see if she has a lot of friends if she has any of your red flags and lots of other things that you can’t tell from just a dating site.
Pay them a compliment
Let’s be honest – we all love a compliment. It’s the most effective way to make someone feel good about themselves and connect this feeling with you. That said, don’t use a compliment as an opening line – it may make your intentions questionable and you don’t want to give off the wrong impression. Instead, introduce a compliment once you’ve already established a connection with someone. Learning how to flirt online is also about making the other person feel comfortable.
Seltzer advises, ’the more you come from a place of authenticity to start a conversation, the better off you are. That can make the other person feel comfortable as well.’ Pay them an actual compliment – what attracted you to this person? What makes them stand out? Tell them and they’ll know it’s a genuine place.
Be the one who ends the conversation
The best flirtatious conversations end with the other person wanting more. You want to leave them thinking about you, and wishing that you’d log back on for more chatting. Before the conversation runs out of steam, it’s a good idea to cut it short and leave them thinking about you.
Look for a high note that might be difficult to top. If you get someone really laughing, but can’t think of anywhere to go beyond that, just end the conversation: “Good talking to you. Gotta feed the dog, though. He’s about to eat me.”